


Like You Won't Believe

by fairydustedtheory



Series: A Wolf and a Spark verse - Sterek Bingo 2020 [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek Hale, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Pining, Spark Stiles Stilinski, The Pack Ships It, from afar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24021079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairydustedtheory/pseuds/fairydustedtheory
Summary: There was a case Stiles had been working on, people were getting killed at a couple's retreat. He called Derek, told him they needed to be credible.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: A Wolf and a Spark verse - Sterek Bingo 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709788
Comments: 20
Kudos: 439





	Like You Won't Believe

**Author's Note:**

> Part of my Sterek Bingo 2020 oneshots. This is for the prompts Reconnection and Fake Relationship.
> 
> They are all in the same verse. The collection can be read as a whole but fics stand on their own.
> 
> This one got away from me, so much for wanting to write short little ficlets. Well, what can you do.
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://fairydustedtheory.tumblr.com/tagged/plot%20twist%20:%20i%20write)
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

It all started with a Rugaru. Fucking Rugarus out there ruining Stiles life.

Maybe the Rugaru had nothing to do with the current state of affairs but still. It all started because Scott had texted about a Rugaru being in town while Stiles was in Virginia doing his FBI things.

Scott had said it was just a Rugaru, just a stupid thing, people got killed sure, but they were dealing with it and everything would be back to normal soon.

It was the first monster they had had in all the months Stiles had been gone. They were dealing with it just fine he had said. They all agreed, they wanted Stiles to stay here and continue his internship and his training. They were all so proud of him, they didn't need him to come back. They wanted him safe, they wanted him to go on with his life like FBI things were more important to Stiles than his friends.

So of course, Stiles had said _fuck it_ and packed his bags and was ready to leave and go back to Beacon Hills to help them, Scott, the pack.

Stiles was ready to drop everything, drop the case he had spent months researching, he was ready to come home. Fuck, he _missed_ home.

He had booked his flight to leave early in the morning and then he got the text.

Scott texted at 3 AM here in Virginia, sent him a picture of his leg which had been more than a little gnawed on with the caption "Do you think this will grow back ?" and a following text saying. "Done with the Rugaru. Everything is ok."

And that was it, Stiles had no reason to get on that plane and fly home anymore.

He had his phone in his hand and it was 3 fucking AM here in Virginia. Needless to say his mind wasn't at the best of its abilities.

There was really no need for any explanation as to why Stiles called Derek. He just did.

He pulled up Derek's contact. He wondered a second if Derek had kept his number memorized. Derek was a serial deleter, he deleted things as soon as they weren't relevant anymore. Maybe he would have deleted Stiles too.

Stiles was part of the pack but wasn't it Scott's pack ? Only the betas were still going back and forth. Scott had Liam but more often than not he had Derek's betas too. That was how it had been when he left, he couldn't quite imagine it would be any different now. What with Scott's ego and mistrust of Derek and Derek's ego and mistrust of everyone and all of that stirred into one big pot of Beacon Hills drama. That's why they weren't officially two packs but they weren't officially one either. And Stiles ? Stiles wasn't even a wolf. He wasn't even a beta. But Stiles was pack, still. He had to believe it even from miles and miles away.

They had almost gotten eaten, all of them Stiles was sure. He imagined Derek, in his kitchen getting a glass of water like he usually did after a fight, maybe sweat was dripping down his back as he had just come back from killing that godawful Rugaru. Stiles half thought that Derek might not even answer the phone, might not even look at it. Maybe he hoped he wouldn't look at it, that way Stiles would hang up and not leave a message, blame it on a butt-dial. 

There was something about nighttime in Derek's life. It was either a time to feel lonely or to be under attack. Sometimes, most times, it was both at the same time.

For Stiles these days, night was when he let himself fall completely. As long as he was busy working, it was fine, but then alone in the dark, all hell broke loose. On the really bad days, he couldn’t quite remember what it was like to not feel this way, like he was fighting something absent, missing.

He pressed the call button and heard the dial tone with absolutely no clue as what he was going to say if Derek answered. _Is the rugaru dead ? Did you guys make sure he was alone ? Are you okay ?_

"Stiles ?" Derek said as he picked up after the first ring. It had been months since Stiles had heard that voice.

"Hi." Stiles breathed out. "Hi." he said again, biting the inside of his cheek.

He didn't want to sound too desperate. They used to talk, a lot. Stiles used to be the contact and be the one to call Derek when Scott wouldn't even want to consider asking for help. They never had any fall out or anything, it just had been _months._ Stiles should have been more prepared for this call.

"It's past midnight. What time is it for you ?"

"It's 3, but... huh." Stiles had no idea how to even form words at that point. He exhaled loudly and just said it "I need your help."

Why did he have to say that? Why on Earth did he just say that?

There was this case he had been working on. At the moment, the case felt like a safe subject. The only subject he had in mind really. He hadn't made any friends here, he only focused on FBI things. Yeah, something to talk about to not just let all the anxiety and fear for the lives of the people he cared about spiral out of control. It was a safe subject, one that he knew by heart. Just something to talk about.

"What's wrong ?" Derek asked, sounding raw and tired.

Stiles could barely handle it when Derek sounded like that. It always had the power to flip his insides upside down. So he talked about the case, about how he had been working on it for months, how everything led him to believe it wasn't human.

They were getting close but Stiles knew it wasn't human.

"What do you think it is ?" Derek gently asked as if the conversation was interesting to him somehow, as if he wasn't exhausted and maybe a little hurt.

Stiles heard him shuffle and sigh, probably sitting on the couch or on his bed. Stiles did the same and let himself fall down on his bed, head hitting his pillow, wanting to bury himself in there and listen to Derek breathe.

"Uh... some sort of Vampire sucker."

Derek huffed. "Aren't they all suckers ?"

"I guess so, yeah." Stiles chuckled. "But this one, it's not blood. It's energy."

"Hmm, a psychic vampire then." Derek agreed.

Stiles wasn't surprised Derek knew exactly what he meant. They had spent countless nights together just reading on everything monstrous, mostly in silence, only interrupted by Stiles exclaiming his disbelief from time to time and Derek rolling his eyes at him but always coming around behind him to read from above his shoulder. It had always been strangely comforting to feel Derek's warmth at his back when he was doing his research. He didn't have any warmth these days. He just researched alone in his apartment in the dark with only his desk lamp glowing on his books and laptop.

"Yes, that's my best bet." Stiles scratched the back of his head nervously.

"What do you need me to do ?" Derek sounded so genuine.

Stiles shouldn't have asked anything, not when he had no idea what he was asking, what it would do to him to ask something like that. He tried to go around it, to tell Derek he wasn't calling to ask anything, yet he had said he needed help so there was no denying it.

But what could Derek do when the case wasn't in the pack's territory, when it wasn't even in California, they had _literally_ just got out of the Rugaru thing.

"We're all okay, Stiles." Derek assured him without having to hear the question.

"I saw a picture of Scott's leg." Stiles countered. And really, Scott, did you have to send him that? 

"Of course he sent you that." Derek scoffed, with just a hint of fondness.

And when he repeated "What do you need me to do ?" Stiles found nothing better to say than "I need a partner."

Derek joked, actually joked, about the FBI being a sham if Stiles didn't have one of those already. Stiles' heart crumbled a little bit at the sound of Derek joking.

He had a partner who was more than okay, definitely not as bad as he could have been but – Stiles couldn't say it, he couldn't just say "he's not you."

Anyway, the whole thing had just sprung to life, it wasn't anything planned. The FBI wasn't in on it, and definitely wouldn't be in on it if they knew. The training session was over for the summer, they were taking the new college summer interns now. Stiles was free to do what he pleased until September probably when he'd do some more training or maybe just accept the job they had already offered him. He had a hard time committing to it though. He wasn't quite ready to make the whole career shebang with the FBI the real deal of his life. 

"I'm obviously not super comfortable with bringing civilians into a supernatural shit-show." That was as good an excuse as any. 

"Tell me everything." Derek replied simply.

Stiles rolled out of bed to get to his desk where everything had been laid out for months. He fumbled with a few papers a second before going into the details.

There was a company out to get people. There had been deaths. Several people worked there so it could really be anyone. Who knew maybe it wasn't even one of the staff members? What was troubling was that they did couple's retreats on the property as well as planning weddings or anniversaries or anything. And that was the common denominator between the deaths. People died there, it was always ruled as accidents or suicides.

There was more too because Stiles had looked into it thoroughly. That was how he came to suspect something supernatural. People were having strange strokes. They were not dead but they were pretty much dead, left in a coma or close to a vegetative state. And then as Stiles had dug even deeper, he had discovered that some couples broke up out of the blue. That had been difficult to find out, but some angry tweets from brokenhearted people left at the altar had been enough to put him on the right track.

It could happen, Stiles was aware that being stuck together for an entire week and talking about your feelings could do that to people without it being supernatural. People who were in love and happy and planning a future together, what were the chances of it ending just like that ? The statistics were not very promising when it came to this company. It was a wonder that some couples still signed up to go take part in this. They probably didn't check the reviews.

Stiles wanted to infiltrate, go undercover, and he needed a partner to make it credible. That was what he said to Derek, "I need to make it credible." Fuck, could he have been more obvious than that ?

Derek stayed silent a moment too long and Stiles really _really_ regretted his words.

"Credible as in - ?" Derek asked, because Stiles' cheeks were not already burning enough that he needed to explain what he had meant on top of it.

"Faking ? Pretending ? Saving people ?" His voice sounded high pitched even to himself, how embarrassing. Stiles wasn't a damsel in distress dammit. He should have known better.

*-*-*

Stiles couldn't even begin to understand what had overcome Derek and made him agree to this.

But there he was, just a few days later, at the airport, leg bouncing uncontrollably and his mind running a mile a minute questioning why and how and _why_ Stiles would ever put himself in this position. He startled out of his seat as he saw Derek walked out of baggage claim in all his leather jacket glory, duffel bag slung over the shoulder.

"Hey hot stuff !" Stiles called out and Derek stopped outside the gate. He looked around the crowd, turning in the direction of the voice calling out to him. Stiles held his breath a second. Derek's eyes stopped when he met his own and Stiles couldn't stop the smile from forming on his lips. There was just something about Derek Hale that made it all make sense.

He awkwardly stepped into Derek's space to give him a half hug and flinched a little at how tensed Derek looked and felt. He probably regretted the whole ordeal.

"Thank you for agreeing to do this." Stiles murmured, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

Derek clenched his jaw, not meeting his gaze. "Sure."

Stiles started to explain the plan, how he found out about the company and how he had planned pretty much everything. They were scheduled to meet with the woman in charge and they were going to introduce themselves as a couple celebrating their anniversary. Stiles swallowed the dry lump in his throat when he said that last part.

He never had any anniversary with anyone. Never dated for longer than a few months and would probably not get to that with anyone now since he basically left the dating scene entirely at the same time he left Beacon hills.Right now, he had decided to focus on work, and only work. A quick hook-up here and there had been okay for the couple of months after he got to Virginia, trying to surf the wave of his newly-found freedom but really, who was Stiles kidding? Hooking up sucked and Stiles had trust issues. He could never bring himself to go home with anyone so the night just ended in some crappy hand jobs in the back alley of the club. Really that was worse than having nothing.

"Anniversary ?" Derek asked.

"Yeah. Quicker than a wedding and cheaper. And doesn't require a lot of people, so it can be just us without seeming weird. So yeah, an anniversary. Any anniversary. Uhh what – what do you wanna celebrate ? One year ? Two ? I mean obviously we can't go for many more than that since I am still a little young for all of it. I think minors are allowed to get married in the state of California if their parents give their consent though, so maybe if you think my dad would have given his consent and dragged us both to get a court order. I don't know how that would have played out but..."

God, he was rambling. Could someone come end Stiles' misery please?

Derek's nose flared as he frowned and stared at Stiles a moment. "Does it matter ?"

"We just need to get our story straight. Because we won't always be together, they'll interview us separately. It's the whole concept of it, we live there for a week and we have some sort interviews and some sort of counselling I guess and they determine - that's their skill - the perfect party theme or whatever based on our answers and our compatibility."

Crap, now that Stiles was actually thinking about it, this infiltration seemed like a terrible idea. Sure, Derek and him had been friends once upon a time but making people believe they were married and willing to go to a couple's retreat to be pinned and probed and examined like a couple of lab rats in love for some weird people to go about mixing both their personalities into one perfect ostentatious party? Really? Like an ostentatious party was either of their scene? 

"Wouldn't have Scott or I don't know, Malia, been better for this ?" Derek replied voice ripe with irritation.

"Hey, Dickhead, if you didn't want to help then it would have been easier to say so over the phone. I'm not going in there hoping for a perfect party, okay ?" Stiles exclaimed a little outraged.

Derek flinched just slightly at Stiles' tone. Yeah take that, alpha. Maybe Stiles hadn't actually missed Derek's bullshit all that much, or maybe he had so they could argue and he could let all of his frustration out.

"I just need someone to sniff them and help me figure out which one or which ones are not what they pretend to be."

Stiles was in too deep. His whole thought process was that the vampire sucker was able to feel or sniff or taste -or whatever vampire suckers' main senses were- the emotions and feelings. They would have felt that Scott or Malia, although Stiles loved them, he didn't _love_ them in a way that was close to being married. It would have blown the whole operation from the get go.

Stiles could never say this to Derek. He had been good at ignoring it, he had always been good at somewhat ignoring it, living with a burden of something felt but left unexplained and unsaid. It had been months since he had let himself think about the weight of this burden on his heart. He was not quite ready to open the Pandora box right now. 

Derek had probably guessed the whole thing and that was why he was so closed off.

"I need you to relax, buddy, if we're going to sell this." Stiles forced himself to say with a tight smile.

Derek sighed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "One year. One year is fine."

*-*-*

"A first anniversary ! How sweet ! Enjoying the honeymoon phase, I bet !" The woman smiled brightly, tossing her long black hair over one shoulder before turning to type something on her computer. "You registered for the week, is that correct ?"

"Yes." Stiles said leaning over the desk to try to see the computer screen.

She turned it all the way back to the wall with an apologetic smile.

Stiles let himself slide back in his chair. "Right, confidential information, sorry."

His leg was bouncing up and down until Derek finally put his hand on it and turned to him.

"Please, excuse my husband here," Derek explained, talking to the woman but eyes not leaving Stiles. "He's been talking about wanting to come here for a while, he's pretty excited." The sound of the word husband coming out of Derek’s mouth had Stiles’ heart make a surprisingly pleasant jump. "Relax, it's just a couple's retreat."

Yes, relax Stiles, relax heart, this was just for the week. Nothing was supposed to feel real. Stiles was definitely not getting married to Derek Hale any time soon. He was definitely never getting the title of husband to come out of these nice rosy lips for anything other than a not quite Oscar worthy acting job. What a strange universe that would be if Derek and Stiles were actually a thing. God. 

"You're right, babe." Stiles said, putting his hand over Derek's and holding it there. Stiles could swear he saw a faint blush bloom across Derek’s cheeks. "We're here to have fun."

"Alright, you'll be staying in cabin 5 and here is your schedule for the first couple of days. There will be a few other couples with you this week so some activities will be done as a group. We focus on the getting-to-know-you part of the program at the early stages and then the end of the week is more here for you to relax and enjoy your stay and of course, your special party." The woman said in a perky, yet professional tone. 

"Thank you very much." Derek said offering his hand to her, with his brightest and fakest smile. Stiles had seen it one too many times and snorted under his breath.

"Oh, Mr Stilinski, you're of the jealous kind. I'll add that to the file." She commented with a smirk.

Stiles startled, wild eyed but let Derek's hand guide him out of the room without another word.

Jealous? Stiles? Jesus Christ what a world. Stiles could mock the ridiculously exaggerated smile of his friend without it being jealousy, couldn't he? Derek flirting had always been a sight, and yes at some point Stiles had found it a little arousing and it might have worked on him if it had ever been directed at him, which it hadn't, back in the day but now? Now Stiles knew better than that. He wasn't going to be jealous of this and anyway he had absolutely no ground for jealousy. You can't be scared to lose something you don't have. Simple math.

"They're onto me already," Stiles muttered as soon as he was out of earshot.

"If you're that nervous, maybe we should stop." There was a frown distorting his features, as Derek took a step into Stiles' space. Stiles wanted to smooth it out with his fingertips but decided on burying his hands in the pockets of his hoodie instead.

"I'm fine. Have you sniffed anything ?"

"No, I haven't sniffed anything except you being an annoying little shit."

"If I'm a little shit then you're a big one !" Stiles was back at his preschool come backs apparently. He couldn't have brain functions for everything. 

Derek snorted, unamused. "That's right, we're just a couple of shits."

"That's my dream marriage, right there, a couple of shits." Stiles was so irritated, he hoped to just forget everything and relax in their cabin before the start of the afternoon activities.

*-*-*

"What's up with all this romance ?" Stiles asked, disgusted as he shook his head at the basket of rose petals on the small table in the entry way of their cabin "There are even chocolates on the bed. Jesus."

"And champagne in the mini fridge." Derek added voice neutral. "Just how much did you pay for this retreat ?"

"Not that much." He shrugged innocently.

_"Stiles."_

"Uhh, okay." Stiles grunted. "Pretty much my whole paycheck."

It was actually a really nice retreat, out on a private property with woods all around. Everything was perfectly accommodated to create the best experience for the guests. The wooden cabins were beautifully decorated, and outside, there were little alcoves built in so couples could still find places to feel like they were in their own tiny bubble. The whole thing felt like a five star hotel experience but with counseling and a surprise party at the end. Obviously something like that didn't come cheap. It was for couples who didn't count their investment in their love.

Stiles wasn't completely sold on the whole thing. If he had the chance to be loved and be in love, he'd probably be just fine camping out on a cot under the stars or sleeping in a cheap crappy motel. Stiles was pretty sure love didn't really care about all the luxuries. Still, it was nice to treat your special someone and he understood the principle of wanting to prioritize each other outside of the trials of life.

Derek sighed dramatically. "How are you going to feed yourself for the rest of the month ?"

"Haven't you heard, babe ? All you need is love and all that." He grinned back, throwing him one of the hand towels he had at arm's reach. Derek caught it, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up and eat some chocolate."

"Yes, sir !" Stiles smiled, flopping himself on the bed and popping a couple of chocolate truffles in his mouth all at once. Derek just stared at him from the corner of the room, but his expression was a little less guarded than before.

Stiles hoped they would find their groove back. He hated feeling Derek distant like that. They had been split, split by mountains and rivers and hours and months over the miles and time passed and Stiles hated every minute of it. Every minute of them acting like strangers. He hoped they would find the bridge to cross these rivers and the gateway to find their way across time to find each other again. He missed his friend. 

*-*-*

Derek offered his hand to him as they walked out to get to the afternoon activities. "Alright, let's sell this."

Stiles intertwined their fingers trying to ignore the flutter in his stomach. He'll always remember the feeling of Derek's fingers, he was sure, even if this was just pretend.

He tried his best to plaster a friendly smile on his face when he met the other couples. They met their neighbors, a tall blond guy, flat ass, Frank, and his wife, Amanda, petite brunette with big boobs. Stiles wasn't ogling for the sake of it, just an easy way to remember people.

Scott could be crooked jaw and kind eyes and Derek had been eyebrows, stubble and fine ass for a long time.

The couple occupying the other cabin next to them was pretty much of the same caliber except covered in tattoos, Jeff and Myriam.

All the couples, including Derek and Stiles -what a joke,- were here to celebrate their anniversary.

A red head woman, who Stiles recognized immediately from his research as Gabriela Munoz, thirty four years old, the boss of the company, came to them and presented herself as the official host for their week.

"Today we will be discussing pair balance and balancing of your home, how you manage to keep the equilibrium of your love in the dynamics of the outside world, children, work, chores, finances. It is invaluable to not lose track of what is important."

Derek was smiling as the woman spoke but his eyes were dead and Stiles could relate. It was one thing to go to a couple's retreat as a couple, but as barely friends who hadn't spoken to each other in nearly a year that thing was more than a little unbearable.

Everybody was talking in turns around the circle. Stiles was internally laughing at himself because he seriously wished he had the luxury of quibbling over such trivial things as who forgot to pick up the kids, who did more household work than the other, and not think about what it would feel like if one of them ended up being eaten by a Rugaru.

Amanda stopped talking and it was Derek's turn.

"Uh, we don't have kids yet," Derek said awkwardly.

Stiles' heart clenched at the added _yet._ It was all pretend but why the yet ? Why not only say they didn't have kids because they didn't and wouldn't ? Something in there was just all too much. Derek's fingers brushed against his and Stiles tried to focus his attention on that touch alone. And breathing. Breathing in and out.

"But we do have a group of people that we care about, and when Stiles is not there, I feel like something is missing. Things don't work as well."

Stiles openly stared, lips slightly parted with a small silent sigh. He knew his heart was beating a little faster than usual, the first initial spike had barely calmed down, and he knew Derek could hear all of it. Stiles had always wanted to know that he was missed, even if it was just in terms of the pack. Being important to the pack already meant so much.

"What about your feelings, Derek ? How do you manage your feelings when Stiles is not there ?" the woman asked. "What about when he is there ?"

Derek's ears were bright red. "I feel better when he is there."

Gabriela laughed, "That's a good point when you marry someone !"

Then she turned to Stiles expectantly.

He startled. "What ? That's all ? He gets two sentences out and it's already my turn ?" She simply nodded. God, this was awkward. Stiles needed to find something to say, how could he stall and say enough but not too much? "Uh.. I guess I feel better when I'm there too. None of these other subjects have ever been questioned between us so I don't know what to say. I guess sometimes the world gets a little too much and we might lose track of-"

He stopped in the middle of the sentence, not knowing where exactly he was going with it. Shit, what was Stiles even talking about ? He was there to sell his loving fake couple to figure out who was a vampire sucker. He wasn't here to get counselling on all the underlying feelings he had for Derek and how he wished they would express them more, or express them at all, or how he truly wished there were _any_ to express on Derek's part, but never could let himself believe any of it could ever be a wish come true.

"Very good, Stiles, very good point. Now, I'd like for you all to think about what happens at the end of your day. When the children have gone to sleep for the people who have kids, or just when you come home from work and you finally relax, what do you discuss ? What seems important to you and your partner ? What about intimacy, sex, when it's just the two of you ? Are both of your needs met in terms of emotional and physical connection ?"

Stiles wanted the ground to open and swallow him so he wouldn't have to live on this Earth anymore. How could Frank go on and talk about blowjobs in front of a group of strangers, in front of his wife ? How could Stiles even let himself imagine what it would feel to have Derek naked, in bed, all for himself, all for his mouth and his fingers, available for him to touch and kiss and suck and... fuck.

"Everything's good. Yup." Stiles said between his teeth when it was his turn to talk. "Yeah. Every need is met."

  
Derek just nodded along, palming the back of his neck. "Absolutely."

*-*-*

"We suck !" Stiles threw his arms up in the air, when they were finally released from that terrifying counselling session. "We suck so bad !"

"Stiles, you're the good liar between the two of us. You lie like you breathe. You should come up with-"

"I'm a good liar ? I lie, yes but when have I been good at it ? Every lie I ever told has been discovered at some point ! Honestly, how could it be any different when I'm surrounded by werewolves ?! Lying, trying to keep something private ? That's void, _meaningless,_ only pushing back the inevitable because everyone will know the truth eventually. I'm terrible at lying ! I have no secret !" Stiles was throwing his arms around like maybe he was projecting his truth through his fingers as well as his mouth.

 _"Stiles."_ Derek just shook his head, frowning.

"This place is for couples who want to celebrate and make their good marriage just a little greater and we're out there like two fuckers who don't know how to speak to each other about feelings."

Derek rubbed a hand on his face. "Good marriages, really ? Didn't you hear Frank admit he wanted his wife to abandon her dreams of a career and even stop working entirely to get pregnant ? I don't call that a good marriage, Stiles. I'd never ask something like that. It's just plain stupid. Amanda is just out there ready to say yes and become an adult dependent and regret it for the rest of her life."

"Yay for feminism and gender equality, Derek ! Remind me to tell your future wife how lucky she is to have you." Stiles flinched as he said that, before sighing, "I know they're awful."

Derek tensed. "We're not that bad."

"We look constipated !" Stiles grimaced. "Listen, the vampire sucker isn't going to suck anything out of these people. We need to fake it. We need to be on our best game."

Derek shrugged. "We'll do better tomorrow. Now, go to bed, I'll sleep on the floor."

Stiles felt disappointment run in a shiver down his spine, finding its place in a dense and unwelcome weight in his stomach. He watched, mouth slightly agape. Derek avoided looking at him entirely as he took out a pillow and an extra blanket from the closet. Stiles just stood there. He really didn't know what to do except climb into bed and try to forget Derek was even in the room, sleeping on the floor because he apparently couldn't bear the thought of sleeping next to Stiles' body.

*-*-*

Gabriela was there waiting for them as they walked to get breakfast in the hospitality area. Morning light streamed through the large French windows. They were the last to come in, all the other couples were already ready to leave.

Stiles had been reluctant to walk out of the cabin this morning, he was so exhausted. Derek had gone for his morning run and took his shower and Stiles had barely had it in him to put on a pair of pants and shoes. The whole cabin smelled of Derek. Stiles had spent the entire night tossing and turning, his whole being acutely aware that Derek was just a few inches away, curled up on the floor and not there on the bed with him.

Werewolves could sleep anywhere so a hard floor or a bed didn't change anything to Derek. It just changed things for Stiles.

Scott never had any problems sleeping in the same bed as him. From their first sleepovers when they were four to their teenage years, there had never been a problem with it. They just had to be aware of each other's boundaries, no big deal. There was no touching, Stiles could totally sleep without touching anyone, just stay on his side and sleep. And with Derek, they had already slept in the same room during research or even in the same car during a stakeout. Surely sleeping in a romantic cabin wasn't that different than sleeping in a car.

There was no reason for this to feel like this was any different. Stiles was probably only anxious about the case anyway.

"Today I'd like you to be divided into two groups. This way spouse A and spouse B will work separately and we hope to free you from some of the tension of admitting things in front of your partner. It's important to be in a safe, unjudging space to be able to voice some of your needs and desires. That will also help the team find the common denominator in your relationships and work towards your perfect party experience."

Stiles had barely finished eating that Amanda came to ask him to move along with her and Jeff to where their session was to take place in the garden.

Derek stood up and leaned in to kiss Stiles' temple before leaving, his fingers brushing against Stiles' jaw. There was such sweetness in his touch that Stiles forgot a second this wasn't real before calling out, "Have a good day, sweetheart !" as Derek was already walking away.

Stiles watched him as he went to sit on the other side of the lawn with Myriam and Frank. Derek shrugged off his leather jacket as the morning atmosphere grew warmer and was clearly enjoying the sun on his skin, eyes closed, head tilted upward as he was waiting for their group session to start.

Stiles wanted to go and kiss the sun off his face.

He needed to keep this kind of ideas out of his head, and definitely not think about licking down Derek's throat and feel his stubble scrape against his tongue as he would travel up his jawline. Nope, Stiles wasn't thinking about that. He also really needed to get a grip because he was pretty sure Derek was down wind from him and if Stiles didn't stop right there, Derek would have a big bad scent of arousal coming his way in a about three, two...

Alright crisis averted as a woman stepped into the circle and distracted Stiles from his very wrong and very misplaced thoughts.

"Let's go around the circle and say in one sentence something you wish you dared say to your partner, Amanda, will you go first ?" A new staff member started.

The woman was wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the company logo but her face wasn't one Stiles had come across during his research. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the off-feeling he got from her but he couldn't be too sure. He was starting to feel paranoid. Everything felt off about the whole experience. Starting with himself, there was definitely something off with him because he couldn't stop glancing back at where Derek was seated and wishing he had super-hearing so he could listen in on what Derek had to say about their relationship. As fake as it might be.

"I wish he wouldn't pretend to be strong with me."

"Jeff ?"

"I wish we could let go of the routine sometimes and find ourselves again."

"Stiles ?" He glances up at the sound of his name to see the woman scribbling down something on her notepad.

"I wish he knew." was all Stiles said. His mind had just blurted out these words, it was honestly amazing they came out sounding sane.

It was just honest. Deep down, Stiles wanted Derek to know, even if nothing he felt was reciprocated. He wished it was out there, his little unrequited crush. It was more than a crush but nobody had to know that. That his staying away would find a meaning somehow, not just a way for him to stop thinking about it but a clear cut, knowing it was impossible, stop imagining, being away because he was not wanted, not because he was scared. Stiles was certain Derek knew and the fact that this had never been addressed was as clear as any "no" could ever get but still, Stiles wished he was brave enough to say it. Just to know that he had said it.

He knew Derek could hear him from the other side of the lawn. His session had started too and he had been busy talking barely a few seconds ago but as soon as these words flew out of Stiles' mouth, he didn't have to turn his head to look back and meet Derek's gaze, he knew Derek's eyes were bearing holes on the back of his skull.

"That's not very specific." Amanda inquired.

"Oddly I feel it is." Stiles answered with a shrug. They were allowed to say as much or as little as they pleased, so he would just stop at that. Especially when he knew nothing would change the reality of things.

*-*-*

Stiles was walking back towards the restaurant for lunch when Frank came behind him. Without warning, he buried his face in Stiles' neck and sniffed deeply.

"What the fuck, dude ?!" Stiles startled covering his neck with his hand in defense.

It wasn't a vampire sucker but his heart hadn't gotten the memo just now and was skyrocketing out of his chest.

Frank just shrugged. "Meh, nothing to write poetry about."

"What ? What's wrong with you ?" Stiles shouted a little too loud for the cozy decorated hallway leading to the hospitality area.

The man just walked away like nothing happened. Were they all being drugged? That could explain all the strange things happening. Who would think about coming to sniff another man's neck and think it would be an okay thing to do? Stiles liked his personal space thank you very much.

Derek was by his side in a second. Stiles hadn't even seen him nearby but here he was edging into Stiles’ space. 

"What's going on ? You okay ?" He asked, eyebrows tightly knit together.

Stiles' lower back was tingling at the sensation of the ghost of a hand brushing against it, just barely there. It felt intrinsically protective and tender. Stiles wanted to lean into it, felt the pull of this need he had of skin against skin. Okay so maybe the problem with Stiles wasn't that he liked his personal space, maybe he would like a certain someone to invade his personal space and maybe push him against a wall and put his large warm hands all over him until Stiles' personal space wasn't really personal anymore but more of a shared custody or something like that.

He licked his lips and swallowed the feeling down as they went to sit at a table for lunch. Derek pulled his chair like a real gentleman, what a nice added touch to the whole act. Stiles _really_ needed to get a grip.

"I don't know, they all lost their marbles here. Between the love gurus and the weird couples ? Shit, maybe there's nothing supernatural going on and I was just completely off base." Stiles teared off a piece of bread while looking around the room, and glanced back at Derek as he chewed it, shrugging.

"No, there's something, I can tell. It wasn't in my session but it's definitely around here. I can smell it in the halls. It feels... looming." 

"Looming? Great. Can't wait to be eaten." 

They stayed silent a minute or two before Stiles started up again. "How was it ? Your session." he asked curiously, stealing food off of Derek's plate. "Did you make up any good lies ?"

"I didn't have to lie." Derek answered simply. "I'm not telling you more than that, you'll have the same session this afternoon and we're not supposed to divulge the subjects so you guys don't have time to overthink your answers."

"Overthink ? Me ? Never." Stiles crossed his arms over his chest. "Isn't that a little cheating though ? I don't have the convenience of divulging or not, you can hear everything I say."

Apparently, they weren't going to discuss the fact that they were not actually here to play into the counselling part of the week but only to find out who was a killer. Stiles let it go. Derek strangely seemed to enjoy himself today. His face wasn't as closed-off as it often was. He looked content somehow? Young, Derek looked young, like some of the heaviness of his worry started to leave him. Stiles couldn't take that away from him. In all aspects, it wasn't like they hadn't needed therapy after all the batshit drama they had gone through. Some lessons on self-care couldn't hurt.

"That's just how it works between us." Derek's lips twitched into a small smirk.

"Is it ? What else works between us ?" Stiles teased with a wink.

He decided to play it up for the audience he knew was watching them from the bar and brushed his knuckles down Derek's forearm. Derek rolled his eyes, with a small huff and a curl edging on the side of his lips, as reached around Stiles to gather up their empty plates.

*-*-*

The afternoon went by quickly. The subject of the session was to talk about their favorite features in their partner, emotionally and physically. And Stiles didn't have a hard time finding an answer to that. He couldn't see Derek's group so he really hoped he wasn't listening on him describe in details the beauty of Derek's eyes and his face and his muscles and his ass and basically all of him, _he's just a masterpiece really_. But yes Derek's eyes, and the kindness in them and how much he cared and always hoped to do the right thing.

Freed by the feeling of having an audience begging to listen, Stiles just went on and on about everything he liked about Derek. Even his flaws, because he had flaws and not just a few, he had many. Yet even the flaws Stiles appreciated so much. Stiles was grateful for these flaws, because they meant Derek was alive and here.

How could Stiles ever be so lucky to be chosen and loved by such a man.

One thing Stiles didn't dare say out loud was that one little secret his brain supplied sometimes at night when he was too tired to think with reason and let his mind wander into the sinuous path of hope. That one little voice telling him that his own flaws meant something too. That his brainy, sarcastic and gangly (not so gangly anymore thanks to months of training and muscle building) and awkward (still very much awkward) way meant something. Maybe all these flaws put together meant he and Derek could be the perfect fit.

*-*-*

"We should kiss," one of them said.

Stiles didn't even register if he was the one talking or if it came from Derek. Could it have come from Derek ? No, that couldn't be Derek. Or could it?

Stiles stopped breathing a second, too afraid this was just a trick of his ears or his mind. He didn't dare blink. Maybe he had just imagined it. That was a real thing, the power of wishful thinking, wasn't it? 

He scrambled to gather his thoughts as neither of them seemed inclined on talking for a moment. Just a staring contest then, okay. Nothing to listen to except Stiles' frantic heartbeat which was most definitely filling up the room for both of them. Was Stiles supposed to answer or say something ?

"Wha-" he mumbled, staring at Derek who looked like a freight train was coming his way. He was right to be scared because that freight train was Stiles' heart and Stiles didn't mess around when it came to his heart. Shit.

Derek took a step closer, pursing his lips, just a small crinkle on the forehead. Stiles didn't move. Were they doing this ? Derek took another step, rolling up his sleeves.

"God, Derek, it's a kiss, it's not war." Stiles supplied, feeling his ears getting hot. Like the rest of him.

  
  


Derek inhaled deeply and slowly reached out both hands to cup Stiles' face.

Stiles didn't realize he was moving but as soon as he felt Derek's lips brush against his own, he was kissing him. Actually kissing him. And Derek let him in immediately, opening his mouth to let Stiles in. Fuck, Derek tasted amazing, even better than any dream Stiles had ever had.

It took a minute for Stiles' brain to supply him with the knowledge that this was supposed to be practice kissing for when they were in front of people and not at all the best make out session he had ever had in his entire life.

He was about to pull back, slow down, try to turn this into a chaste fake kiss if any of it was salvageable, but Derek's hand moved to the back of his neck to keep him there. Stiles all but whimpered at the relief he felt to not have to fucking slow down. He wanted more of it. Derek's tongue was darting out to chase him and Stiles just couldn't breathe with how good this felt.

Stiles would kiss Derek forever if only the universe gave him the chance.

His hand decided to rest on Derek's chest, just for support, nothing else, definitely not to _touch him_. Derek's heart was pounding against his palm. His other hand found its way to Derek's hip and pulled him close, Stiles was absolutely winging it at this point, throwing himself into the kiss. Derek's mouth was moving to open Stiles' more, angling him right with a slight push of his fingers against Stiles' jaw, tugging his hair with the others.

Stiles' hips moved on their accord and he moaned, actually moaned, when they met Derek's thigh. Fuck, Stiles was hard.

_Fuck._

He froze. Hit by the realization that this was unquestionably inappropriate. So very _very_ wrong. 

“Oh God, I'm so sorry,” Stiles apologized, hands leaving Derek's body to cover his eyes in agony.

Derek didn't move away but his hands slid down Stiles’ arms to clasp at his elbows, as if to encourage him to not claw his face out with his bare hands.

"This doesn't mean anything. Nothing. It's just – just a human body reaction. Just." Stiles mumbled.

Derek let go of him then. Stiles could feel his heart rate ratchet up again when he met Derek's eyes. Confusion. Yes, Derek's gaze was full of it. It was even more unbearable to see it up close. Stiles clutched his chest. Could a heart attack be caused by embarrassment? 

"I - I'm sorry." He stuttered again.

Derek's eyes dropped before meeting Stiles’ gaze once more. Stiles offered a tight awkward smile, couldn't manage much more than that with his whole being only providing him with a feeling of utter abashment. There was only so much a little human Stiles could take, kissing Derek had been too much, that was just the truth. 

Derek's hands twitched, almost rising up once more, like he was about to grab Stiles and kiss him again maybe. But then he shook his head and put his hands back down, clenching them into fists.

"I'm gonna go running." was all Derek said before bolting out the door.

  
  


Stiles let out a loud shaky breath as he wiped his sweaty palms against his thighs.

Eyes locked towards the door Derek left ajar in his haste to leave, Stiles could only feel a heavy sense of loss sitting in his stomach. Nothing but echoes and shadows of what could have been. The confusion born from unheld hands, unseen smiles and unkissed lips. Just pure disappearance.

  
  


*-*-*

  
  


He let himself fall on the bed, muffling his groans in the pillows.

Stiles threw his head back on the side and slapped a hand to his forehead, pulling at his hair. Fuck.

  
  


He wasn't sure what to do with all he was feeling. They had a case to finish, at least Stiles had, he wasn't just going to give up and let the vampire sucker go, but maybe Derek wouldn't want to stay. Maybe Stiles had messed up everything. Shit, they were doing fine, people thought they weren't into PDA but was it so bad ? Why did Stiles have to kiss him just now ? Stiles could still taste him on his tongue. How dreadful and amazing at the same time.

  
  


He straightened to grab his phone. He couldn't be alone with his thoughts right now. Waiting for Derek to come back in the distressing silence of the cabin.

He called Scott, drumming his fingers on the bed cover as he heard the first and second and third tone before the line connected.

“What took you so long ? Haven't you heard I'm in an existential crisis ? What about our telepathic bond, Scott, huh ?” The words came out a little bit harsher than Stiles had intended, and he flinched burying his face back into the pillows. “Sorry.”

"What's going on ?" Scott asked, his tone concerned as always.

"I messed up. He'll never want to help with the case anymore." 

How could Stiles finish the case and pretend to celebrate his wedding anniversary without a husband there to celebrate it with him? A couple's retreat with only half of the couple, Stiles would really sell his cover that way no doubt about it. 

"What are you talking about ?"

"My case, the one with the people in love dying !" 

"Yeah ? I can't say saving people in love is a bad cause. Who won't help you?"

"Derek !" Stiles flailed. Who else ? Scott could be so dense sometimes. 

"What ? _Derek,_ Derek ? As in Derek Hale? That's why he missed pack meeting ?"

Stiles frowned. "Didn't he tell you he was coming ?"

"Uh nope." Scott popped the p at the end, trying to sound casual. "He just bailed, we couldn't find him anywhere."

"Derek's with Stiles ?" Stiles heard Erica interject on the other side of the line.

Scott covered his phone as he replied, "Yup. Call Isaac, he doesn't need to run all the way to Santa Rosa."

Stiles groaned into the phone. Derek was still as awful as ever when it came to communication with the pack. When would he learn ? They were going to send Isaac to Santa Rosa, Jesus Christ. Derek had been too ashamed of agreeing to come help Stiles with this godawful plan of his that he hadn't even told his betas he was leaving. Even Stiles knew an alpha was not supposed to leave his betas unsupervised or at the very least unaware of where their alpha was off to. Stiles groaned again. 

  
  


“So,” Scott started again and there was something in his voice that had Stiles hold his breath instinctively, “you asked Derek to come save people in love with you?”

Stiles almost snorted at the formulation, it sounded quite terrible put like that, but yes that was pretty much what Stiles had done. Scott didn't seem to judge but Stiles couldn’t quite interpret the quality of his tone through the phone either.

“Yes?” Stiles said. It came out as a question. 

"And that required what ? Pretending to be part of said people in love ?" Scott asked and Stiles could hear the mocking smile on his face.

"What ? Oh my God, of course he dropped everything !" Erica laughed.

"Jesus." Boyd deadpanned. "His plate was still on the table. _On the table_!"

“God,” Scott chuckled. “No fucking wonder.”

"What are you guys on about ?" Stiles frowned again, as confused as he ever had been in his life. Discovering werewolves and all the supernatural existed hadn't even been that confusing.

"We were so freaked out. You know how intense he gets when the betas are messy. He can be such a clean freak sometimes. Remember that one time he threw Liam out for dropping a meatball on his carpet? We thought something had happened." Scott explained.

There was a warm little flutter in Stiles' gut realizing the pack was actually a real pack now. Scott and the betas and Derek. They had been worried about Derek. They were just one pack even if none of them would be willing to consciously say the words out loud.

The little flutter did a flip then bringing in the feeling that Stiles was missing out on everything. He had missed the shift in the pack bonds. The one thing he had wanted to build for years, he hadn't been there to see it happen, he hadn't even been there to be any part of it.

  
  


Stiles suddenly closed his eyes, pressing a hand to them to help him focus his thoughts. He couldn't quite remember why he had called Scott in the first place.

Oh yeah, the kiss. Suddenly it didn't feel like a great idea to rant about that when Scott was clearly in the middle of something with the pack and each one of them could hear everything. Stiles definitely didn't need the whole pack hearing him go into details about Derek's mouth on his. He himself didn't need to hear that so it was just as well to not speak of it ever again.

  
  


"What happened ?" Scott asked, back to the topic at hand.

"Nothing. Nothing important." Stiles breathed, before finding some sense of gravitas. "Well, you guys can call back the cavalry because Derek is not missing, kidnapped or killed. Everything's fine. This thing will be over by the end of the week so he'll be back soon."

"Alright." Scott said, obviously occupied by something else if the noise in the background was any indication.

"It was good talking to you." Stiles concluded before hanging up.

  
  


Stiles covered his face with his hands again, letting out yet another groan that was probably more from frustration with his own thoughts than frustration with his friends. Maybe Derek had a point when he said Stiles lied like he breathed. He was so far from feeling good at the moment. But none of it was Scott's fault and Scott was busy so why should Stiles unload on him ? There was nothing that could be done.

  
  


*-*-*

  
  


Stiles went to take a shower to bury himself under a too warm water spray and try to forget the feel of Derek's lips, the feel of his hands on Stiles' face and hair and basically forget everything that was Derek Hale. This fake relationship had been such a terrible, abominable idea. How awful to be actively encouraged to act like this was real. Act as if his hands belonged on Derek. Believe he was allowed to stare at the object of his affection, as if Derek was his. Stiles barely knew what was real and what wasn't anymore.

Except all of it had to be fake. And that hurt a little bit. 

When had Stiles ever had good ideas anyway ?

  
  


He was drying his hair with a towel as he checked himself in the mirror, straightening his back nervously to give himself some composure before stepping out. He hadn't heard a noise but walking back to the scene of the crime still felt like a betrayal to himself and to Derek. He had been so stupid.

He managed to not startle but barely as there was Derek in their bedroom, silent, wild sweaty hair, exhaustion heavy on his shoulders.

  
  


"How far did you run ?" Stiles inquired, the smile on his face just a touch too stiff for Derek to buy it.

"Not far." Derek stood there, leaning against the far end wall, looking so raw and beautiful, it stole Stiles' breath away.

The tangy iodine scent flooding the room distinctively reminded Stiles of the sea. They weren't so far. There were quite a few miles to get to the coast but nothing a werewolf couldn't handle if he had set his mind to it. Stiles was grateful Derek had ran to the East and not all the way back to NorCal. 

  
  


"I'm sorry about before." Stiles whispered. He took a steadying breath, his eyes never leaving Derek as he made his way to the bathroom, moving so close into Stiles' space that the hair on his arms tingled in expectation of a brush that never came.

"It's fine. Let's forget about it." Derek looked down, a tense expression on his face.

  
  


He came out of the shower a moment later, wearing only a tank-top and black boxers. Stiles’ eyes couldn't help but follow the lines of his biceps and down. The world was entirely too unfair. Stiles was supposed to deal with Derek Hale and not be completely head over heels attracted to the guy. Keep your hormones in check, Stilinski. 

  
  


"Would you maybe consider letting me sleep on the bed tonight ?" Derek asked tentatively, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Dude, maybe consider ? Why are you being so formal ?" Stiles asked quizzically from where he was already under the covers. "Oh wait !" He startled. "It means you want the bed and me on the floor, doesn't it ? I mean yeah, I get it. You slept on the floor last night.. I -"

"No, Stiles, no. You stay on the bed."

"So you stay... on the floor ?" Stiles narrowed his eyes.

Derek shrugged. "Okay."

"No ! Oh God." Stiles sighed, rubbing his forehead. Words were a pain sometimes. "Let's go to bed. You and me. On the bed. You don't have to tiptoe around me like that. I mean, we've seen worse than sharing a bed, haven't we ?"

"Yeah. Then you shouldn't tiptoe around me either. We know each other too much for that." Derek answered simply.

"Right ?" Stiles hated the tiny quaver that came through his voice. They did know each other. They knew so much and Stiles loved all of it. 

"You're pack." Derek stated pulling the covers to slip into the bed next to him, settling down safely on his side of the mattress.

Moonlight drifted through the window and glowed on the side of Derek's face. Stiles couldn't look away.

"Am I ?"

 _"Stiles."_ He said as he would reprimand a child.

"Talk to me about home." Stiles' voice trembled again, there was no hiding it. "I wanna know everything. Scott keeps me updated but it's very minimal and he doesn't want me to worry so I know he doesn't tell me everything. And the betas, Isaac and Erica, and don't get me started on Boyd, they never answer any of my texts. And Malia and Lydia, well, exes you know," he shrugged. "and I can't ask them what I want to know anyway."

"What do you wanna know ?"

"How are you guys ? How's the pack ? Was it really only the Rugaru or has there been others before ? How was the alpha's heat this year ? How did Scott manage it ? How's my dad ? How's _everything_ ?"

Stiles had a whole series of questions and he wanted to ask them all if Derek was willing to answer. It was anxiety inducing to feel deprived of the feeling of being pack. Not be there, not know. The most important question though, he didn't dare voice out loud, too embarrassed about feeling this lost. But it was that one question keeping him up at night most days. _Would you let me come back ?_

Derek let out a long breath. "We're okay. The pack is okay. Pack meetings are still a mess."

"You're really doing the pack meetings ?"

Stiles could barely believe it, he had fought teeth and nails for pack meetings from the moment Derek had been back in town and meaning to stay this time. Scott had almost always found an excuse or another to not show up, the betas acted as typical teenagers and sometimes ditched them to go to a party because "it was the party of the year, couldn't miss it"... More often than not, pack meetings had ended up in just Stiles and Derek staring weirdly at each other waiting for pack members who were not going to show up, before Stiles decided to just go along as planned and made them tacos to eat in front of a random movie Derek chose to watch on tv.

It had been a little better by the end though, before Stiles left. Except better had been a lot harder on Stiles' heart because by then when he would go and sit next to Derek on the couch surrounded by his friends, his hands would be tingling with wanting to rest on Derek thighs and his heart would be painfully vibrating with something Stiles knew had always been there but couldn't quite ignore anymore.

"Yeah, you wanted us to do pack meetings so we're doing them. They officially turned into movie nights, it's awful. Their choices in movies have been dreadful." Derek said.

Stiles chuckled wetly.

"There was just the Rugaru, nothing else. You can rest assured, we're not hiding a war. There was nothing just old bland Beacon Hills without you. We weren't all just sitting there writing sonnets about the moon but you know..."

"I bet you do." Stiles turned his whole body to face Derek, resting his cheek on his hands.

Derek huffed. "Write sonnets about the moon ?"

"Yeah, I imagine you wolfed out, holding a pen and an old yellowed paper between your claws. That's how I see it." It wasn't that hard to imagine. Derek had a soft side to him, Stiles knew that very well. 

"Right..." Derek scoffed, but he couldn't bite back his smile entirely. "Scott managed his heat like the previous years. I don't have all the details, but they had just barely gotten back together at that point for the hundredth time. I think they abstained this year too. There was a story about Allison tying him up in the cellar and apparently he was very turned on by that. A little BDSM kink according to them. I admit I walked away from that conversation so I don't know the ending."

Stiles didn't dare ask about Derek's own heat. He wasn't really ready to break his own heart by imagining Derek spending his heat with someone, or letting himself admit he wanted to be that someone.

"Don't worry, we know how to be careful after everything you researched on the subject. And we are both forever grateful to you for that by the way." Derek continued. "Peter's sex education was absolutely terrifying."

"God, yes," Stiles chuckled. "I still have nightmares about Peter's knotting sexcapades."

It wasn't a lie, he did have nightmares about Peter's sexcapades yeah. He also had strangely vivid dreams about Derek though. These were the ones that left him breathless and writhing as he woke up.

Stiles had researched the subject thoroughly, going from extremely detailed anatomical sketches in some old manuscripts to very graphic porn he had no idea how he had managed to find on the internet. His mind had been forever changed by the knowledge about the alpha's heat.

All the wolves had a mild heat of some sort but the power and meaning of it for the alpha was something else entirely, solemn and sacred. Or at least it was meant to be. Obviously not every alpha took their heat as something to be revered. Clearly Peter had been more into the carefree side of things and would go on and on describing things neither Derek, Scott or even Stiles ever wanted to imagine him doing.

"Yeah, we all do." Derek agreed. "That's the main reason he regrets the alpha powers, I think."

Stiles laughed. "I bet. He really seemed to live the heat thing to the fullest. No pun intended."

Derek snorted.

There was a minute of silence before he spoke again. "Your dad is fine. Everything is fine."

Stiles was trying to build up the courage say something more, but Derek didn't let any time before asking, "What about your spark ? Have you been practicing ?"

"My spark ?" Stiles repeated, feigning innocence, trying not to think about how his heart rate jumped up a little at the mention of his magic.

"Stiles."

"Okay, no." Stiles admitted quickly. "Since I left, I've sort of been ignoring it and trying to focus on the human side of things."

_"Stiles."_

"I know ! I could be a badass wizard by now with the proper training. I just – I wanted to forget about Beacon Hills for a while." Stiles said with a sad smile.

He had wanted to forget about Derek and the way the bottom of his stomach caved in every time a memory came into his mind. How it felt like his heart could implode with how much he wanted him. How painful it was to be near him, yet not allowed to be with him, touch him, kiss him, fuck him, love him.

It was such an agony that Stiles couldn't breathe with it, that he had to just fucking walk away.

He wanted to forget how Derek's touches felt like a drug Stiles had never tasted but craved with his whole being. It was even worse now, having had a taste. Stiles would never forget. Stiles would never be able to come home.

"How was that going for you ?"

"Not great." Stiles confided, looking up at the ceiling. "I was at the office a couple of weeks ago and I forgot my coffee on the desk for a minute too long. When I picked my mug up again and tasted it, the coffee had gone cold."

"You hate cold coffee." Derek supplied.

"Yeah. I hate it so much, my mug exploded." Stiles glanced back at Derek.

"Shit." Derek smiled, a real smile, with little crinkles by his eyes. He looked fond, fond of all the ridiculousness that was Stiles. 

"Yeah. Go explain that to the co-workers. _FBI_ co-workers." Stiles rolled his eyes.

He sighed. Stiles was hit by how much he missed this, as if no time had passed at all. How the easiness of it felt like a punch right through his rib cage. And going by the gentle look on Derek's face maybe he had missed this just as much as Stiles had.

Just being with each other and sharing a space. It didn't have to mean more than that.

"You shouldn't waste your spark. It's important." Derek concluded, straightening his shoulders. "It's part of you."

*-*-*

They were already half way through the week, when Myriam came over to Stiles at the table where he was writing his letter to Derek. It was the assignment of the day, write each other a letter about a particular topic and then discuss it in private.

Stiles knew they wouldn't be doing it for real in their cabin. The whole kiss debacle had hardly been handled at all, Stiles wasn't really willing to risk anything more. 

He had received a couple of texts from the betas in the morning. Boyd of all people sent him a text calling him a "sneaky bastard" and really life could be so strange sometimes. Derek wasn't the kind of guy to kiss (or more precisely be kissed) and tell so he was fairly confident this wasn't about that. They had all gotten high on wolfsbane maybe.

At least, he wouldn't be able to say the betas never kept in touch with him anymore. When in doubt, Stiles just answered with a thumb up emoji. What could go wrong with a thumb up emoji? Nothing.

So, he was there sitting in the sun, and writing his letter. He had chosen to talk about his role in the pack, what it meant to him, what he wished it meant. He wasn't going into the details of how much he wished it meant but just a hint. He figured it would be a positive experience to let his thoughts flow out of him, maybe curative in some way. Cathartic.

"You guys seem happy. You and Derek. This week feels right for you, doesn't it ?" Myriam started.

"Yeah, yeah, it's nice." Stiles said with a vigorous nod.

Myriam sighed. "I don't understand. Jeff can really play the Dr. Jekyll well because I really think maybe I've actually married Mr. Hyde."

"What do you mean ?"

"I don't know, this whole thing. I see you and Derek, you exult with what I feel a relationship is about, the way you look at each other and how you blush all the time, how every touch you guys share seems to be electrifying."

Stiles stared at her as she described his pretend couple, and seeing it through her eyes as being something to envy. He'd envy it too if it was real. It hadn't occurred to him that they were actually selling the couple thing. They had never kissed in front of any of them. They barely held hands. It was just a mix of tiny little touches, brushes of fingers. They were terrible actors, both of them, they could have done so much more if they had been different people. If Stiles hadn't tried to refrain and preserve his heart just a little bit and if Derek hadn't been... well Derek.

And yet, they were playing the part just right, it seemed.

Myriam continued, unphased. "And with Jeff, I thought we were like that, I thought we would be like that but suddenly we're not. He's so standoff-ish. It doesn't feel right. He's not in love with me anymore I can tell. It's so strange, it breaks my heart. I don't understand why he would have agreed to come here and do this. It was my idea to celebrate our fifth anniversary and try to reconnect. He had told me he was glad that we could finally spend time together, you know, without the kids. But it's all gone now... I don't know if there's a way to save this."

"Oh Myriam, I'm so sorry." Stiles sympathized, putting a hand on top of hers. He tried not to turn full on detective when he added, "When did you first notice it ? Was it right away ?"

"No, it was fine the first day or so and then we went into our solo interviews and we did the photo shoot and I guess he realized he couldn't fake it anymore. He came to me and when I tried to kiss him he just said he was an independent mind and he didn't particularly enjoy the emotional manipulation built into the program and there was no use in being here with me."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say." Stiles scratched his shoulder, frowning. This didn't sound like Jeff, at least not the Jeff he had gotten to know in the couple of days they had spent here. Jeff had seemed like the least awful of them all.

Stiles was genuinely sorry for her but really he was little ecstatic because that was just what he needed. He needed a lead. The vampire sucker had to be in the photo shoot because they had done the solo interviews already and Derek hadn't smelled anything wrong there. It was someone on the photo shoot set sucking the love out of people, and not in the pleasant way.

"You know, if there's no love, there's no use, it's true. I could try to make it work but I don't have super-powers. Even the Genie in Aladdin said that he can’t make anyone fall in love. All the magic in the world couldn't make someone love you if they don't." Myriam concluded, with a downcast expression.

Stiles' heart made an unpleasant leap into his throat. "Yeah it's some untamed and powerful stuff. There's just something about love, isn't there ? Can't escape it when it's there, but can't make it appear when you want it."

*-*-*

It was a beautiful early summer night. Just a hint of a breeze through the leaves on the trees in the yard. Stiles had decided to take advantage of the weather, an opportunity to spend some more time outside in this admittedly very nice resort.

He wasn't sure he was ready to exchange the letters, he wasn't sure Derek had written his. Stiles was certainly not going to ask. There were not here for that anyway.

He had taken out one of his books, one of the many bestiaries he had collected over the years. He wanted to feel more prepared to take the sucker down correctly. He didn't want to go in all guns blazing and have it be immortal or something.

  
  


They were all just gazing at the stars tonight on the terrace. Each couple was at their own cabin but had had the same thought. They were probably sharing their letters, they were close enough that Stiles could hear the rumble of their conversations, if they had any, but not quite make up the words. It felt romantic. The nice resort, the stars overhead, feeling connected to each other somehow.

A mug of coffee appeared next to the book he was reading, steaming hot in the evening chill. Smelling wonderful and exactly how Stiles liked his coffee.

He grabbed the mug out of Derek's hand , but his fingers just kept him there as he leaned down to deposit a chaste and gentle kiss on Derek's knuckles with a whispered "Thanks."

It barely lasted a second before he straightened up and looked back at his research. He realized what he had done of course as soon as his eyes landed on the book in front of him. He had gotten used to it, that freedom he had to be allowed in Derek's space, allowed to touch him in such tiny gestures. Stiles couldn't deny he was craving more of it, and it was apparently coming out of him so naturally that he didn't even have to think before his tenderness unfolded in front of both of them. Maybe he could just try and hold on to this feeling before everything inevitably slipped away.

If Derek had anything to say against it, Stiles would blame it on the audience that he was sure had looked their way at least once or twice since the whole thing started. It could all be an act, of course, it could.

"You're welcome," Derek sounded hoarse.

"You're not bad as a husband." Stiles said, a corner of his lips curling up.

“Oh yeah?” Derek asked softly.

Stiles looked up from under his eyelashes. He chuckled, a small and private laugh that had Derek pulling his lower lip into his mouth, eyes wide, gaze dropping to Stiles’ lips.

“I mean, you clearly know the way into my heart.” Stiles smiled hand gesturing to the hot coffee on the table. "Care to join ?"

"Join your heart ?" Derek's eyebrows twitched as he titled his head.

Stiles froze a second. Was that flirting ? It couldn't be. Stiles had seen Derek Hale flirt before. This was not it. 

He glanced over Derek's face trying read him, there was a slight pink on his cheeks, a small twitch on his lips. Derek was looking down intently at Stiles. He wasn't stepping back or moving away. Stiles' tongue darted out to wet his lips and Derek's eyes widened, gaze dropping to Stiles' mouth. There was no missing the movement. Shit, Stiles wanted to kiss him so badly.

"Join me in my research ?" Stiles managed to offer, feeling a faint blush moving to his face.

"Okay." Derek agreed, pulling a chair to sit next to him. His knee accidentally brushing against Stiles' thigh as he arranged himself in his seat.

  
  


Stiles' gaze drifted away from Derek's face a second and up to the other cabin to their left. Yeah, they definitely had an audience.

  
  


*-*-*

Stiles shifted feeling warm in a heavy and humid atmosphere. He cracked an eye open in the early morning light. His first thought was _rain is coming_. Then any thought he might have had after that disappeared as he felt Derek next to him unconsciously pulling him closer, wrapping his arms tighter around his waist, his nose snuffling against his neck, as if they were a couple sleeping in each other's arms every night.

They had drowsed off around midnight, they were nowhere near as close, definitely not cuddling when they had fallen asleep. Stiles had no idea how they ended up tangled up like that but apparently night had a way to make things happen.

He shifted again and turned to look at Derek who surely would wake up soon, hearing or smelling Stiles' wakefulness.

Derek was soft, calm and breathtaking. Stiles finally believed that they hadn't met any other monsters before the Rugaru, no life-or-death situations looming over their heads, because he couldn't find any other explanation as to how Derek could be that peaceful and unalert. He wasn't ready to jump at anyone's throat right now. Stiles had never seen Derek sleep like that. And Stiles was lying there in Derek's arms, his soft unguarded and vulnerable arms, like he belonged there. It felt like he belonged there. 

He couldn't help but watch the steady rise and fall of his chest, fighting the need to curl against it, tuck his face under Derek's chin, maybe mouth at the tiny puddle of sweat resting right there on his collarbone.

Derek shifted then, but instead of opening his eyes, one of his hands moved to caress Stiles' back, rub against it warm and soothing, something Stiles had never felt before. Stiles sighed, instinctively leaning into the touch. He couldn't help it.

This wasn't weird. Cuddling. It wasn't supposed to mean anything. It was just pack bonding, Stiles knew. Scott did it all the time with Isaac. It was something about comfort and belonging. Stiles hadn't been doing a very good job at hiding he needed reassurance. Derek's alpha instincts were just making sure Stiles knew he was pack, nothing more than that. Nothing more. That already meant so much.

  
  


"Hey, sleepy head." Stiles said brightly when Derek finally opened his eyes. The soft smile he got in return unwinded something in Stiles' chest. "Ready for today ?"

Derek nodded, the soft smile never leaving his lips, eyes never leaving Stiles.

  
  


*-*-*

There was an auburn haired man waiting for them when they finished eating breakfast, Bob, the photographer, had been working for the company for 3 years if Stiles' memory was correct. Maybe he was the one, he certainly seemed too perky for his own good, with all the too large smiles and perfect hair style.

Derek stood up first, his hand traveling over Stiles' shoulders as he walked by to follow the direction the man had gone.

Gabriela was standing to the side and picked up a notepad from the worktop in the hall, grabbing a pen and scribbling some notes on the paper. 

Stiles caught up with Derek a few feet into the hallway, slowing down to match his strides.

"Are we really sure it's not Gabriela ?" He said under his breath, his fingers grazing against Derek's forearm in conspiracy.

"It's not Gabriela. And before you say anything, it's not Bob. It's someone I haven't met before. I'm not sure it's a human."

"Well obviously it's not human. That's not super big news." Stiles rolled his eyes.

"I mean it might not look human." Derek deadpanned.

"Oh, you mean a monster lurking in the shadows ? Alright. We're not scared of them monsters. Let's just play the game until we find their secret hiding spot !"

The man gestured for them to get into the dressing rooms. Stiles scrunched up his nose when he saw he was supposed to wear a tux for the photos. How conventional. He wished people could just wear whatever they wanted for wedding photos. The point was to show the connection and love between people not strangle them with a skinny black tie, wasn't it ?

He still put it on because he had a part to play in selling this thing and a guy spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars to spend a week with his husband to celebrate his first anniversary was supposed to be all in and living this experience to the fullest. Right.

He paused, looking down at his feet for a moment, then shook his head. Stiles looked quite okay in a tux. The suit pants did wonders to his legs and ass, clinging in just the right way. He might even think himself attractive.

When the door opened, the first thing Stiles saw was Derek standing in all his glory in the middle of the room. Stiles' gaze roamed over his dark grey tux with shawl lapel and stopped at the white button-down slightly opened at the top, letting some soft chest hair show. Well, that was unfair.

Stiles' eyebrows shot up. "Forgot your tie ?"

Derek studied him a second, something unreadable on his face, before a warm smile appeared on his lips. "Was it needed ?"

Stiles stared back as long as he could but had to look away at the intensity of Derek's gaze. He really needed to keep his twitchy heartbeat in check. God. And his thoughts too because the whole _I wanna marry you I wanna marry you I wanna fuck you_ chant going on in his brain right now had to go away. Far away. 

Stiles could feel his cheeks burn hot instantly as he swallowed around the dry lump in his throat.

The photographer showed them where to stand and where to look. Things could have gone smoothly, doing some sort of prom picture pose and some random others. Bob wasn't really creative. Were wedding photo shoots supposed to be creative ? Stiles remembered that one time a couple made the news when they did theirs with protective face-masks on in the middle of the wildfire in wine country. That one had been creative yeah.

"Okay let's move on," Bob said sounding annoyed. "I have some weird glare messing with the camera. Let's try something else."

Stiles threw a knowing glance at Derek who only shrugged one shoulder. Werewolves eyes were nice for so many things, maybe they wouldn't have to suffer through this photo shoot much longer. Stiles needed to go jump into a cold shower.

The photographer gestured for them to face one another and just instructed to do what people in love do. How precise, thank you Bob for your invaluable input.

Derek licked his lips, eyes darting down and back up again and leaned to kiss Stiles on the forehead, bringing his hand up to tug gently at the short hair at the nape of his neck. Something fake wasn't supposed to feel this good.

"Alright, things are looking up !" The photographer said. Stiles barely registered what he was saying, lost in the feeling of Derek's hands finding their way around his waist and resting on his lower back. "The glare is gone. I'll just take a few more like this. You look perfect, guys. These look great."

Derek's nose went to brush Stiles' hair. Stiles closed his eyes, sighed at the shivers running through him. He couldn't do much than just stand there and be held.

"For the last few shots, could you maybe do a kiss on the lips ? Go wild, guys. You're young ! Don't worry, anything not rated PG wouldn't go on the website anyway. You're in the clear."

Derek's hands left Stiles all at once and flitted about his sides. He was nervous, Stiles could tell from the way his eyebrows twitched and his eyes weren't really meeting his at the moment.

"We don't have to. It's ok…” Stiles trailed off.

Stiles' thoughts were cut off by Derek grabbing him by the lapel's of his button down and pulling him into a kiss, surprisingly sweet.

  
  


"Great job ! Perfect !" The photographer exclaimed between the shutter sounds of his camera.

Stiles somewhat heard him keep talking about how he was going to transfer all of these on a USB stick for them to grab on their way out. But his body and soul were just filled with the feeling of Derek being right there, breathing him in, his fingers brushing against his jawline.

  
  


They were now free to go change back to their own clothes and leave when they saw fit, Bob said before stepping out.

  
  


"I – I'm gonna..." Stiles mumbled, gesturing as though he was just going to step back and leave but Derek was still blocking the door and didn't look like he was about to move at all.

"Stiles," Derek gasped, eyes wild transfixed on Stiles only.

  
  


Stiles lunged up to kiss him again before he could second-guess himself. He could feel his heart beat faster, as his arms wrapped around Derek’s neck. He felt Derek's hands find his waist again, holding him close, chest pressed together.

  
  


“Derek,” Stiles answered, his breath coming in shallow ragged pants. He hoped the tone in his voice was enough for Derek to understand. Just fucking understand already.

“You wanna go get changed?” Derek asked tentatively as he stopped and took in Stiles’ gaze for a moment.

Stiles shook his head, licking his lips, his mouth suddenly feeling too dry. He could barely stand the tension.

Derek swallowed visibly. His eyes not leaving Stiles for a few more seconds. “You want to go back to the cabin ?"

Stiles nodded.

"Okay."

Stiles shifted awkwardly on his feet, biting his lower lip. "Okay."

  
  


Amazing how they managed to get out the room, out of the building and on their way to the cabin. Amazing too how his brain actually thought about grabbing the USB stick on his way out, but Stiles needed to keep these pictures of Derek in that tux and put them in his bedside table to look at them on rough days.

  
  


Stiles could feel Derek's hands on his body, never leaving him, overwhelming. He kept pulling him to a stop every so often to press him up against the nearest flat surface to kiss him senseless. Fuck, Derek seemed into it as much as Stiles was if the low growl coming off him was telling him anything. Stiles let himself be kissed yes but there was no need to ask him to kiss back in equal measures. Stiles was kissing with all his desperation and need flying out of him. He couldn't stop.

Derek turned to press him back against the wall of a cabin, was it their cabin already ? Derek's hand grabbed his left thigh and pulled it up to rest on his hipbone, positioning himself just right in between Stiles' legs. A distinctive sound of a tear of fabric was heard as they smiled into each other’s mouths.

"I'm gonna be billed for that." Stiles laughed breathlessly.

"I'll pay." Derek offered, fingers finding their way through the hole in Stiles' pants and brushing the skin of his thigh.

"Fuck," Stiles gasped.

Stiles stumbled on one of the potted plants and Derek fell with him in a muddle of arms and legs on the wet grass just in front of Amanda and Frank's cabin. He just now realized it was raining as his eyes met Amanda's who was standing on her terrace gathering her sweater and book to bring them inside.

"Hi, Amanda." Stiles waved innocently at her. Her blush probably reflected the one on his face as he was sprawled there just at the bottom of her steps with his pretend husband mouthing at his neck in a kiss that was definitely going to be leaving a mark.

  
  


Amanda just turned away and closed the door behind her without a word.

  
  


"I think we traumatized Amanda." Stiles chuckled as Derek finally let him go and pulled him to his feet.

"Good for her." Derek said, mind on other things. Things like Stiles' tie that he was definitely threading through his fingers and pulling along as he took the last few steps to their own cabin.

  
  


They stumbled through the door. So many obstacles on their way, but finally they were there. Derek was moving him backwards, the back of Stiles' knees hitting the bed. He didn't fight it and let himself collapse onto the mattress, hands still clutching at Derek's suit jacket.

No time wasted, Stiles leaned up again to meet his mouth. Derek's hands moving to his thighs and moving him up the bed to fit between his legs again.

  
  


"Derek" Stiles breathed out. What were they doing? Should they stop? They were taking the game too far, weren't they? 

"No no," Derek frowned, his fingers running through Stiles’ hair. "No. No, let me have this." He pleaded kissing the side of Stiles' face, breathing hot in his ear.

"Wha-" Stiles mumbled. All his blood was rushing to some other more important places than his brain right now. 

"Do you not want it too?" Derek sounded broken, still peppering Stiles' temple and jaw and neck with soft little kisses. His body trembling over Stiles' with something more than just lust.

Stiles was gone, feeling Derek there, right there, to touch, just on the right side of too fucking much.

"I want you." Stiles managed to say in between shallow breaths.

  
  


Stiles started unbuttoning Derek's jacket and shirt to make his point a little clearer. Derek sighed as he pulled back just enough to discard his clothes and throw them to the floor.

  
  


There was a moment of silence as Stiles took in the sight in front of him, unable to breathe. Stiles sat back up, his fingertips ached with the need for contact. His hands ran up and down Derek's chest not knowing what to touch first or where to land. He could feel the tremors going though Derek's body as he covered every inch of his ribcage with kisses.

Derek tugged at his hair to kiss his mouth again, tongue finding its way in, demanding yet so gentle, as Stiles moaned.

Derek unknotted Stiles' tie, began to unfasten the button down. His eyes wandered from Stiles' chest to his stomach and back up to his throat with an expression as hungry as it was revering. Derek's hand caressed him down to the buttons of his pants. Stiles gasped, as Derek's knuckles brushed against him through the soft material of his boxer briefs. He ached to be touched, sharp longing trembling through his body.

Stiles leaned up to kiss him again, couldn’t stop himself, didn't want to stop himself, turning the kiss hot and wet as the seconds passed, their bodies moving against one another in an intoxicating anticipation. Stiles needed to catch his breath as he was starting to feel dizzy from it all. Derek's forearm against the small of his back holding him close was the only tangible thing in the world right now.

Derek leaned in and dropped his forehead on Stiles’ shoulder, panting and staring down at Stiles’ hands as he opened Derek's pants, pulling him free. 

Derek was kissing him again then, wild and frantic, grinding on him in a firm, overwhelming rhythm. Stiles wanted to put his hands or mouth or anything on Derek, touch him, swallow him or wanted that same frantic rhythm but thrusting into him, oh but this was already so good, and they weren't even fully naked, why weren't they naked ?

"Stiles." Derek breathed out brokenly.

Stiles' hands move to Derek’s face, brushing tenderly at his stubble, tightening as he held him in place and breathing him in, swallowing his gasps as their hips rolled together bringing some heart-stopping ecstasy and relief. Derek sounded more undone and defenseless than ever before.

The sounds Derek made as they both came all over his stomach, Stiles wanted to hear them, be the one to make Derek feel this good forever.

  
  


*-*-*

Derek had decided to go grab them some food. With everything, they had missed hospitality hour. Stiles had barely had it in him to wash himself with the damp cloth Derek had handed him on his way back from the bathroom. He just wanted to lie there on this bed, covered in sweat and come for all eternity. It was a little gross, but it was Derek and him, and he just never thought this was a thing that would ever happen in his life. Maybe he could just stop time for bit. Enjoy it while it lasted.

He was just trying to catch his breath, not think about what it meant or didn't. He longed for more of it, so much more of it. Clearly Derek had been into it, but maybe it was just a one time thing for him. Just something to release the pressure of having to fake it all week long. God, they needed to have a talk. Stiles wasn't looking forward to having that talk, having most likely all his hopes and dreams kicked to the curb.

This was going to hurt like hell, to have to hear Derek tell him that this didn't mean the same to him. At least, Stiles didn't have to wish Derek knew anymore. Oh, Derek knew everything alright.

He should have thought about this before. He should have thought about protecting his poor breakable heart. He had left Beacon Hills for a reason, dammit Stiles. But there had been no thought process at all during the photo shoot. No way he could have thought about anything at all when Derek had been so gorgeously edible in that wedding tux, and touching him and kissing him and so very much feeling like he wanted him, feeling like they wanted each other. 

Shit.

It occurred to Stiles then, that he hadn't – neither of them had – in fact looked for the creature sucking the love out of people in there.

Jeff had seemed like an okay guy at the beginning and Myriam had said he had turned into someone he wasn't. It was too late for him, love sucking probably wasn't something reversible. Myriam would have to redo the whole courtship if she felt like this relationship deserved to be worked on, they would probably need a great deal of therapy.

Stiles wished he could offer more than his sympathies but there was nothing that could be done. Sorry Jeff. 

It had been the only lead in all the days they had spent here. Stiles needed to go back in there and look around for clues. He had to finish the case or the sucker would still be wandering in the halls attacking people until the FBI came down here. And what was the FBI going to do? They would ask again for the staff's alibis and do background checks and do surveillance maybe. Nothing relevant and nothing that would bring them close to the creature. Derek said it wasn't any of the staff members, it wasn't a human so any human investigation would be meaningless. Just going in circles again like Stiles had been for months while trying to find out what was actually happening here. He needed to go and take that sucker down and that was all there was to it.

He changed quickly out of the destroyed pair of suit pants and into something more presentable. He went to the closet and rummaged through his bag, throwing shirts and pants behind him as he searched for his gun. Better safe than sorry.

He ran through the garden in the pouring rain. Stiles had apparently been overly distracted because it was a full on storm outside.

Where was Derek ? He had been gone a long time.

As he approached the main building, loud crashing noises blasted the air inside. There was shouting too, but Stiles was still too far away to hear words clearly. This was not good. He started running for real this time. 

There were sparks of electricity flying in the hallway, the reception widescreen TV had been smashed in half, tables crashed and decorative vases shattered on the floor in the hospitality area.

Stiles was trembling, eyes wide as they stopped on Derek on the floor lying in a pool of his own blood a large golden metallic bar through his abdomen. Some part of a chandelier if Stiles had to guess what had impaled the werewolf.

His vision was wavering and it was getting harder to breathe. Smoke. Dark and thick smoke everywhere. That was just so damn lucky. He looked around the room and just now realized it was engulfed in flames. He really needed to stop focusing on details like seeing the love of his life bleeding on the floor and more on the big picture of being burned alive in this godforsaken place.

As he turned back he startled at the sight of the creature crouched down in front of Derek. Stiles froze and stood staring for a moment at the scene before him. What was that? Hearing Stiles' gasp, the vampire – if that actually was a vampire ? - got off the ground pushing on four arms and looked straight back at Stiles through multiple eye sockets. 

"What the f-" Stiles said, voice barely there.

In a blink, Stiles sensed the creature creeping up on him just a second too late to move properly to pull up his gun. He went for a hard elbow in the chest instead. He didn't know if there was any air to expulse out these lungs as the creature didn't seem to have a nose but the grunt he got in return was enough for Stiles to grab his weapon and face his assailant head-on. He wasn't a defenseless teenager anymore. No, Stiles was strong and he knew how to fight.

A low growl could be heard coming from Derek's body on the floor. Blood had dripped down the side of his face from a head wound that had already healed. _Good, he's not dead_ , Stiles thought. This was definitely not the time to be dead. Stiles hadn't even said I love you yet.

The creature took a step toward Stiles. The gunshot was instinctive, steady. Pierced right through where the creature's heart should be if it was anatomically similar to a human. It wasn't. The creature faltered just slightly. Another gunshot, straight in the head between two of the multiple eyes. Stiles' gaze lazer focused on the target. Another one in the knee.

The monster was still coming and of course the gun was useless. Stiles should have known.

In his peripheral vision, he could see Derek trying to get up, eyes glowing red.

"Don't fucking move, you idiot !" Stiles bit out as blood splattered out all over the wooden floor at Derek's feet. The werewolf just let himself crash back down.

Just that second of inattention and the vampire was on Stiles. Tumbling down on the floor, he landed hard enough to knock his teeth together, barely able to catch a breath in the dark heavy smoke surrounding them.

Fuck, they couldn't die here like this. He couldn't let Derek die in a burning building, anywhere but a burning building.

The gurgling noises coming off the creature was all he could hear for a moment. Twisting his body to try to free himself, an ardent frustration buzzed inside of him, he was trembling with it. He felt the vampire, looming over him, pressing down his chest with its four foreign hands and try to pry at his insides, at his soul, his feelings.

  
  


"Oh no, you won't get this !" Stiles laughed darkly, warmth radiating through Stiles’ body, traveling through him with the force of his quickened heartbeat.

From the edge of his hearing range, Stiles only just made up Derek whimper, "Stiles."

"You don't know me. You don't know-" Stiles grabbed the face with all the eyes in both his hands firmly and pressed with all his focus, thumbs digging into two of the eye sockets, earning him a loud screech from the vampire. "how much I. Hate. Cold. Coffee."

Suddenly, silence. The weight on his chest disappeared. There was big wave of energy, Stiles could see it even with his eyes shut tight. He heard the sound of shattering glass as if something exploded, more crashing sounds all around.

He opened his eyes as a heavy puddle of greenish goo splattered all over him.

"Yuck." He muttered barely opening his mouth as his face was covered of the stinky gooey remnants of the creature. 

Stiles had done that. The spark had done that. He would be more than a little shaken up if he actually had time to stop and think about what that meant. 

  
  


No time to lose though, he scrambled to his feet, slipping on the mess, his arms getting in the way of some broken glass making him bleed.

Derek was on the floor, his back against the wall from where he had landed, worryingly pale and shaking.

"God, Derek, Derek !"

"You really hate cold coffee." His voice was coarse but there.

"I really do ! Come on." Stiles hesitated a second before pulling the sharp metallic bar from Derek's stomach in one steady motion.

Derek growled in pain. Stiles' trembling fingers went directly to the wound as if maybe he was going to stop the bleeding with his sheer will power, Derek's blood spurt out of the gaping hole all over his hands, running down Stiles' forearms, warm and thick. "Shit."

He hauled Derek to his feet. Derek whimpered as he swayed, leaning into him. The fire was still going, they had to get out of there, fast.

"Your gun." Derek coughed out as Stiles was dragging his weight to the door. "Don't leave evidence."

"Dude, there's like half a gallon of your DNA all over the floorboard. I think the forensics will have more than enough evidence."

Derek just growled again.

"Okay okay." Stiles leaned Derek against the wall and darted out to pick up his gun and ran back to Derek who was already slipping down to the floor.

Once outside, Stiles could hear the sirens of the fire department blasting in the distance. "Alright, are you okay to walk to the cabin ? I don't feel like staying here right now."

Derek just nodded and let himself be pulled, the crunch of gravel under their feet sounded louder than it ever had as every step took them further away from the main building.

Stiles kicked the unlocked door open and dropped Derek on the bed. The guy was heavy.

More than sweat and come, the bed sheets were now covered in blood and gooey intestine of a vampire. That was quite disgusting. Better to destroy them than leaving a cleaning lady to deal with the mess.

Derek' cheeks started to regain some color. Stiles cupped his jaw to hold him steady while he wiped the blood off his face with a discarded shirt.

"So it wasn't Gabriela, huh ?"

"No, not Gabriela." Derek chuckled. "I didn't even know this thing existed before today."

Stiles started absentmindedly stroking Derek's nape, carding his bloodstained fingers through his hair. "You got attacked." Stiles breathed out.

"I'm fine. Thank you for not letting me burn."

Stiles shuddered when Derek put his hand on the back of his neck, mirroring his own hand. He couldn't help but lean into his touch. 

"Why would you be attacked ?" Stiles just couldn't understand. Why would Derek be a target? Had he come across the monster trying to attack someone? Or just his dumb bad luck of being at the wrong place at the wrong time?

"Stiles." Derek huffed out a small sigh. "Isn't that why you asked me to come ?"

"What ?" Stiles asked, it came out as squeak. "I asked you to come help me because it needed to be credible."

"Yeah, exactly." Derek chuckled darkly, arms moving to cross over his chest as if he was trying to hug himself. Derek looked so vulnerable and... bloody.

"What ? You thought you were bait ? But that makes-" Stiles shook his head, blinking as his mind tried to catch up to this conversation.

That made no sense. Only people with strong feelings were being attacked. Stiles needed to have strong feelings and that was why he had needed Derek. But Derek thought... Stiles' eyebrows shot up. "Did it eat them ?"

"What ?

"Your feelings." Stiles blurted out.

He couldn't believe that was actually a thought process that seemed to make sense. He still had half a mind to blame it all on the smoke inhalation and the adrenaline rush of nearly dying. But Derek came here, flew all the way from California, to act like bait in a love sucking affair. That had to mean there was love in there. It could be hilarious, Stiles would honestly laugh if the thought that it might be true wasn't so utterly world shattering. 

Derek's face closed into an unreadable expression, something along the line of hurt but different, _shy._ Derek was shy. "No." He said simply.

"No ?" Stiles' voice trembled. He didn't dare hope, it meant what he thought it meant. 

"No. I'm still in love with you." He admitted softly.

It was right then and there, with these delicate words spoken so quietly that Stiles' world crashed all around him. Derek was... Everything froze. Why was he acting like this wasn't big news ? Was Stiles supposed to have known that for a fact all along ?

“I didn’t mean you –” Stiles stammered, his mind still twirling in a post-apocalyptic state. “I meant me. I was going to be credible. I was bait.”

"What ?" Derek sounded properly confused. 

"Shit, Derek, you know, right ? You must know, there's no way that you don't know. I must have reeked of desire and lust for years."

So often had Stiles felt like he had nowhere to hide from it, like they were all smelling it, judging him. Too embarrassed and terrified that he actually flew to the other side of the country to run from his feelings. 

"Lust, yeah but-" Derek swallowed thickly.

"Since when ? Since when do you feel this way ?" Stiles scrunched up his nose as he felt his heartbeat pick up. 

“Do we need to have this conversation right now?” Derek asked, eyebrows raised, annoyance filling his eyes.

"Yes !" Stiles' arms flailed.

If Derek thought he could drop a bomb like this and get away with it easily, he had another thing coming. Honestly, what? There was no way Stiles was going to let this go. No, Stiles was going to hang on to it, grip it as tightly as possible, keep it close to his heart and cherish it forever.

"Because you have almost been eaten by a Rugaru last week and then by whatever that fucker was just now and I need details. I wanna know the story we'll tell our kids."

"Stiles." He seemed like he was trying to argue but either the pain of his healing or the fact that Stiles wasn't actually listening stopped him from saying anything more.

"Derek, I had no idea you felt anything close to that kind of feelings for me, that would have been such a cruel trick to use you as bait if I had known and didn't feel... I was bait, my feelings, me!" Stiles blinked a few times to clear his head. "I'm never letting you go. You have to know that now. It's too late to back down, you said the words. It's too late to take them back. I heard them. I heard."

"I'm not taking them back." Derek frowned somewhat disbelieving.

"We'll have a house and a home and the best sex even I can't imagine yet because it hasn't been done before. And I'm gonna marry you for real one day, Derek Hale, and celebrate real anniversaries, so many anniversaries, and we'll raise our pack babies alongside actual babies and we'll live happily ever after or some shit like that. That's all there is to it. I'm done with the bullshit. I want to make you feel loved like I know I can." Stiles sighed. "That sucker didn't eat my feelings either, I exploded its guts before it had the chance."

Derek let out a winded breath, like someone had just punched him in the chest.

His face broke into a smile, timid and barely visible but still there as he whispered, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Stiles grinned, before biting on his lower lip to try to contain himself.

"Yes, except that I'm not letting you make me feel loved," Derek said with a pointed look. "when you're still covered in monster guts."

  
  


Heat curled low in Stiles’ insides. “What about kissing?” Stiles grinned again, moving a thumb to brush at Derek's soft lips.

"Still gross." Derek said, leaning in close.

"So gross." Stiles agreed, shaking his head quickly, pursing his lips to try to hide his pleased smile.

Stiles couldn’t help but lean forward to meet him in a kiss, sweet and somewhat chaste, like a real good appropriate first kiss. Derek brushed his nose against Stiles' as he sighed, breath hot against Stiles' lips.

  
  


*-*-*

  
  


They decided to stay and see the whole thing through in the morning. Stiles felt like he couldn't just bail. His name was on the register, and the police would certainly check everything, the FBI might come down and recognize his name. They would look so incredibly suspicious if they weren't present the morning after everything.

Gabriela came to knock on their door at 8AM sharp and gathered the couples on the still wet grass of the lawn as she apologized profusely about the vacation being ruined. She even had tears in her eyes. 

She explained that there had been a toxic hazard, some sort of liquid chemical spillage, most probably come up from the pipelines. It had been ruled as the most probable cause for the fire and the following explosion. The fire had been controlled without too much trouble thanks to the quick reaction of the fire department but by the time it was done, the main building had been damaged far beyond repair at this time. It would take at least a few months to rebuild.

The whole couple's retreat week and parties had to be cancelled until further notice. Each couple would of course receive a full refund of their payment and the company was also inviting them to come back next year to celebrate their next anniversary free of charge. 

She was just so relieved nobody had been hurt, she said.

Each couple was now politely invited to pack up and leave. Some people were actually shocked by the news, the ones living in the cabins the furthest away from the main building had apparently heard nothing of the commotion from the previous night. Some were crying on their way back to their cabins. Stiles observed as Myriam went to take Jeff's hand and he let her guide him away. Stiles hoped they'd find a way back to one another. Maybe love would be strong enough somehow.

"I can't believe this place was haunted by a weird monster sucker. The staff was actually nice, they were not faking it to steal people's emotions. Who would have thought ?" Stiles said in a low whisper.

"Not everybody is good at faking." Derek replied.

"We'll have to research the heck out of that creature though!" Stiles said excited. "The whole sucking of love wasn't too strange but that face, dude, that face was terrifyingly hideous. I would have remembered coming across a picture or even a sketch of something that ugly. I'll have to look into more bestiaries, there has to be something I've missed. We should also write about this maybe? Start our own bestiary of all the unknown crazy we encounter because wow, seriously, I'm still a little mind-blown. That six-limbed asshole was actually living where? In the walls in the halls? In the ceiling? Is it invisible until the time of the attack? So many things we need to learn about it. Won't be easy to ask questions now that it was all exploded and gooey though. Green goo too? Green blood or maybe no blood? It didn't bleed when I shot it..."

Derek's hands moved to hold Stiles’ forearms and he squeezed. Stiles’ eyes dropped to Derek’s lips as he spoke “Stiles? You're sure that's the life you want?" Derek sounded tentative, and voice faltering with nerves.

Stiles smiled gently. “You mean a life in bland old boring Beacon Hills writing sonnets about the moon ?”

"I mean, you won't regret leaving the FBI ?"

Stiles leaned forward to kiss him but stopped just before, "I'm 100% sure. I want to come home and I want to work with my dad at the precinct and I want to be with the pack and I want to be with you. I'm all in, I'm all in if you are." He whispered against Derek's lips, pressing their foreheads together.

Derek’s breath stuttered. “I'm in.”

  
  


Stiles stroked his thumbs across Derek's cheekbones tenderly. "I'm going to love you so well, Derek Hale, like you won't believe."

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed the story, consider leaving a kudo/comment.  
> Find me on [tumblr](https://fairydustedtheory.tumblr.com/tagged/plot%20twist%20:%20i%20write)


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